I've been thinking about life a lot lately. And I've been unsatisfied, unappreciative, and unflattered by the horror of life's unfun circumstances. But, I think that's normal. As I question myself about what I want in life, I realize that nothing will really satisfy me. No person, no thing, no calling, no job, no country, no man, no friend, no parent, no siblings, no smiles, no hugs, no nothing..... Nothing in the world could ever be enough to occupy what my heart needs--- and my heart needs my Savior. I think that it's easy to focus on ONLY today and this life, but I don't want just this life on earth. I am looking forward to my walk in heaven. God's arms will be enough for me. Nothing in the world can reach the level of need in my inner being.
Therefore, I'm not looking for mansion built with marble and dresses sparkling with gold, I just want Jesus. I just want heaven. I just want only to know that I've made God proud. I just want laughter that isn't mixed with pain. I want joy unspeakable. I want justice. I want complete uncontaminated peace. I want people to know me for me. I want to see Jesus as he is. I want to look at my Beloved in his face.
Anyways, I guess it's cliche'/ I guess it feels like no one understands/ but all I want is everything that isn't here. Life on earth is unfabulous. Life with God is under-rated. And I see that people don't see how glorious walking with God is.... but when God looks at me I want him to say, "hey Best friend, I know I can rely on you." and my reply is, "Hey, Best friend, can't wait till we spend forever together."
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