"It don't take all that to be a christian man..."

There is a song. I love it. I first heard it in Peru this year and the song kinda got stuck in my heart because the lyrics are so powerful. One of the lines says :

"Even after he rose, man the world ain't changed
They still rejecting the name, still look at us strange
Still tell us without shame that our faith's insane
and, "it don't take all that to be a Christian man"


I think this line sticks with me b/c I live in a world with tons of friends who don't know Jesus. And they proclaim the name of Christ, but they deny it's beautiful power and truths. They want to go club and they want to get drunk, the want to approve of being gay and being a lesbian, they want to cuss their faces raw, they want to do ALL OF THAT and still say, "Well, I know Jesus."

They call me judgemental cause I tell them the way. They tell me I'm weird and call me names. They are my "Friends" but won't listen to the truth I say. I think they keep me around b/c they realize that I'm the light and they need it. but the darkness is to fearful to admit it. The next line of the song goes"

"And it's hard when you tryin' to reach your family and stuff
they say 'man you too spiritual you're doing too much'
so we show them the truth by living the light
so they can glorify God when they look at our lives."

It's so hard when you're trying to reach the people closest to you. I have someone in my family who won't budge on the God thing. I think she knows all about him, but she doesn't let him in her life. And she's horrible. She does horrible things to people, and I can't imagine her having Christ in her. I've received the wrath of her persecution this year. It's SO HARD b/c I want to not love and I want to hate her. but, I can't. I'm nailed to the cross where Jesus died. And I will not get off it, just b/c it would feel better. The ending lyrics to the song are :

"And we win for sharing the truth and hearts get changed
We win if we're rejected because of his name
We win if seeds get planted and watered and grow
But even if we lost, we still be Fanatical though"


I repeat this to myself someones when I just can't live for Christ anymore. When it just gets too hard, when people just get too mean. when life just gets to heavy. And these four lines alone are enough to pick me up. Do you want to know why? Because there is the truth there, that even if I'm a failure in this life, I can still be a fanatic and win in God's eyes.

:) Just some thoughts about persecution. And I think that it's true when God said that in this life we would suffer much. I've never suffered so much in one year before. But, I know God will get the glory. I love him and I want him to get the glory. Even if it's hard for me for a while.

In ending, I want to say that I'm not budging from living for God. My friends might not come to Christianity but I'm certainly not going to the dark. I'm tired of them telling me I'm mean b/c I won't get drunk with them. I'm tired of them telling me I need to go have sex. I'm tired of them preaching scriptures at me out of context. I'm tired of them talking bad about me behind my back. I know that doesn't sound like friends.... but I'm Jesus to them, so even if they stab me I'm going to stand close b/c they need HIM. They go back and forth to loving me and hating me... But I have to remain Love because God is love. And I have to remain like GOD in everything I do.

anyways, this post might not make sense to anyone. But it makes sense to me. It makes sense that I need to vent about it. I wish I had a sister in Christ or a brother in Christ to come pick me up off the ever piercing ground. But I'm in a desert with people who don't care about God. And since that is where God placed me. I WILL LIVE HERE FAITHFULLY UNTIL HE MOVES ME ON. IF I CAN'T BE FAITHFUL HERE, THEN I CAN'T LIVE FOR HIM ANYWHERE. I believe that.