"I Watched Jehovah"

For my mother, after my parent’s divorce... 

"I Watched Jehovah" 

Even though I could not feel God’s presence,

and I was disappointed

with the outcome of my productivity,

and life’s emergent pain,

I did see,

I did watch,

something that will never leave me:

I witnessed supernatural abundance

bound up with unconditional love.

I watched God work

when he sang over my mother as she grieved loss,  

when he gave her a job that paid more than she thought possible,

when he presented to her a place to call home,

flinging open doors to a haven of relief.

I watched God work.

I watched God work

when he restored to her friends she did not know were around,

when he hampered the fists of fret, anxiety, and fear,  

when he held her hands in the shadows,

and took the heaviness of sorrow off her spine.

I watched God work.

I watched God work

as he exchanged beauty for years of ruin,

as he resumed her laughter despite the reality of hurt,

as he took up for her—being her husband—

because earthly people do not love perfectly.

I watched God work.

I watched God work

when he spoke truth to keep her footsteps firm,

when he reestablished unto her security of sound mind,

when he anchored her heart at the port of forgiveness,

and made her stand straight with a poise of peacefulness.

I watched God work.

I watched God worked

when he declared himself to be

Jehovah-Jireh—her provider,                                *The God who provides

Jehovah-Nissi—her banner,                                   *The God who is the banner

Jehovah-Rapha—her healer.                                  *The God who heals

I watched God work.

I do not know what all that toiling and ache was for,

And although I could not see God in my life,

I watched his hands in her world.

 Now, not because mother-like-daughter,

but because God let me see him move,

I am confident that in any future valley

he will be my Jehovah too,

and I will look back on my own life and say:

I watched God work.